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Songs To Drive To; Cry, And Make Love To

by Courtesy Drop

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1.
all the girls with the fabricated faces self-destruct with the boys who make regret so famous nobody's happy and we're hellbent on not changing a thing no one is ready to acknowledge the fact that we're hardly living we already have all the answers we're just too scared to care about left and right this remarkable lack of decision brings only excess sting to opening eyes open your eyes to the blinding light
2.
this house is not a home it's just a place for me to sleep a place for me to store my things inside, you'll find no warmth only heat i doubt that i'll ever regret leaving because it's safe to say that the sentiment's begun to fade and the only thing i've felt of late is far from welcoming and i guess i could just give it time but i think that i might lose my mind and finally Hollow out they say distance makes the heart grow fonder but what happens when you grow fond of the distance itself? so much so that you'd rather just stay gone for as long as it takes to fade the thoughts of home out of your brain erode the emotion away and it's safe to say that the sentiment's begun to fade and the only thing i've felt of late is far from welcoming and i guess i could just give it time but i think that i might lose my mind and finally Hollow out maybe one day i'll come back and things will turn out to be better than i remember
3.
going through the motions same routine day after day going through the motions sometimes dreaming of getting away but never taking steps in any direction staying stagnant without any objection my mind doesn't wander past the walls of monotony this is where i'm comfortable this is where i'll be and on the day that i die they'll have nothing to put on my tombstone and that's fine because it's not like anyone really cares to know that wasting away is how i spent the better part of my days i wish i could say that at least i'm happy but that's such a stretch, and i don't want to lie
4.
i was making up for lost time got close enough to feel the sting when it slipped away from me i'm sorry that i got so dependent on you, the fire, and the bottle to numb the pain since then i've learned which wounds were self-inflicted and my pain is nothing but a memory, i'm alright time has been the best friend you ceased to be i used to think that this was all your fault but now i see things differently because i found the cracks in all of my walls where the leaks had sprung, and started drowning me but i've bailed it out; caught my breath recognized where things got out of control i've reinforced my defenses and i will never let this happen again out of sight, out of mind i'll get used to it
5.
i hope that someday i can say something to inspire change a speech that brings tears to your eyes a reason to redefine your life but when presented the opportunity will only silence reach your ears? when presented the opportunity will i be frozen under the fear? will you see? that i spend my nights thinking of words to say and you'd think that something might come out right but what should be gold is nothing but a stone dense and dull void of any glow and to be honest it's not much of a surprise but i'm certainly not ready to lay down and wait to die so i stick it out try, fail, try again work things out myself and hope that by the end i'll have something to show for all of the time that i've spent thinking
6.
every now and then it feels like there's no warmth left for winter to take and i know it's all in my head and i know it's better to forget that even though you're alright i get selfish in hindsight even though you're alright i get selfish every now and then i realize that i should be happy that you're happy without me and even though you're alright i get selfish in hindsight even though you're alright i get selfish in hindsight so i'll stay silent and hope for another and even though i wish things could have turned out differently i don't resent the mess that you made of me because i'll be alright in time
7.
when i look into your eyes i begin to see that you're not like everybody else all the tears you've cried all the painful stings resonate with every part of me i will not change you even if i should and i wouldn't change you even if i could
8.
it's easy to be so flagrantly absorbed in disbelief so sure of your truths you'd bet your life on them, now wouldn't you but what happens when the cracks in your foundation widen again? bless your heart this could have been avoided from the start i don't claim to be wiser i just know my own experience of life getting so much harder when i misused my stubbornness [quit running against the wind] take a moment and reflect put your own thoughts into context see from every perspective don't jump at the chance to dissect words spoken with arrogance reach nobody but the choir in a comfort zone filled with poison smoke get out now or breath it all in and choke take a moment and reflect put your own thoughts into context see from every perspective don't jump at the chance to dissect
9.
i've been falling asleep at the wheel making turns and stops ending up where i don't want to be the devil's trying to make me a deal manufactured happiness in exchange for the bliss of a changing reality but i manage to keep saying no i'd rather learn from my mistakes and get stronger along the way so when the time finally comes i can take the hand of the one i love without the fear of my own not being warm enough day after day try after try you'd think that it'd get easier for me to ease my mind but i get too scared that my actions won't speak enough and end up fixing unmade mistakes and saying way too much i've learned to accept that i'm way out of step with how the simple things should go but while i try to adjust my stride i can only hope that my sincerity still shows when i say that i care when i say that i'll always be there i'm not hiding intentions in-between the lines i've got a heart that's been broken by countless missteps and dead ends i'm just trying to keep it stitched together with all the help i can get
10.
stay close to me tonight and even though this love is composed of just one side it'll get me through alright i know it's not the glow of love that i'm feeling in fact, your body's freezing me from the inside out but thankfully the cold is just what i'm needing anything at all to make it seem like i'm not alone (but i am) stay close to me tonight and i'll find a few ways to justify it in my mind maybe it's sympathy but i accept willingly and hope that down the road i'll have something real and this is just a thought but maybe i'm Better Off by myself instead of all along always latching on to anyone with some affection to spare i'm so broken on the inside that i'm more of a set, than a whole it gets so easy in the meantime to ignore the damage and the toll
11.
how we both have grown purely miserable without the slightest wish to save this tired dance empty romance the love we fell into has seen its own way out and it's okay because we both followed i'll think of you some nights wish you were close but i'm sure that in time i'll let those feelings go if you get overwhelmed know that you're not alone i'm still reeling from our fork in the road and though i wish things worked out like our favorite movie scenes i understand the reality it just wasn't meant to be
12.
13.
Superbook 05:22
maybe i'm losing my faith maybe i never had it are we serving a savior or just our greatest asset? our prayers go up with the pollution and share the same effect blocking out the Son's solutions letting us decide his intent (heaven's overrun) no wonder the children starve and get no rest their voices are too weak to break through the clouds, so dense with our selfishness if there is a god above us it's safe to say that he is not proud and if angels really walk among us why are they still just faces in the crowd? maybe i'm losing my faith and maybe i never had it are we loving a Father or just a profitable investment? will heaven be overrun by thieves chipping away at the streets?
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credits

released October 15, 2013

recorded, mixed, and mastered by Mikey Allred at Dark Art Audio [mikey@darkartaudio.com]

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