Stabilize

by Courtesy Drop

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  • 12" Vinyl LP

1.
2.
04:42
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5.
05:27

credits

released 28 October 2014

Recorded, mixed, and mastered as well as bass performed by Mikey Allred at Dark Art Audio in Madison, TN (mikey@darkartaudio.com)

Male backing vocals performed by Kyle Merriman of Nest [http://thenest.bandcamp.com]

Female backing vocals, in addition to the female half of the 'Space and Interaction' duet performed by Angela Plake of Bandit [http://www.thebandbandit.com]

Artwork created by Audrey Patterson [http://audreypaterreson.crevado.com]

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Track Name: The Eighth Gate
strength is what i seek
over stability and over peace
just the thought of buckling
makes me clench and grit my teeth

the point isn't to
prove myself to the world and you
i just don't ever want
to drag others down if i fall through

is that unreasonable?
even so, it's still the path that i have chosen\
is it unrealizable?
even so, i will walk till i crawl and crawl til my body and bones are broken



when the end finally comes
will i accept defeat?
or fight the end itself
refusing to let it silence me

i tend to romanticize
the places i'll never know
because what's the point in living life
if you limit where you can go


go onward
live forever


strength is what i seek
is that unreasonable?
is it unrealizable?
Track Name: Orion
in the back of my mind
i entertain, from time to time
all the possibilities and outcomes
that i've let pass by
through the course of this life

"i could've done better than this"
a thought that frequently makes an appearance
but is that the case?
is this really that poor of a fate to have to face?


if i'd taken chances
and went another way
would i still be the person i am today?
stubborn and steadfast
obsessively alone
with crutches filling up my home

it's far too late
to dwell on past mistakes
but if i were to make a change
would i still reach the same destination as my current path?



[time will tell]
if decisions made become mistakes
[time will tell]
if what was lost can be regained
[time will tell]
if everything remains the same
[time will tell]
if it all really revolves around
[time]



i'm more confident now than i've ever been
in decisions i've made and courses that i've taken
because i've learned to be happy with a bitter end
and take everything for what it is and not for what it could have been


it's hard
to reflect
and not point out the flaws
to a damaging extent


in the end
it doesn't really matter how i get there
but isn't it
all about the journey and not the destination?

well if i had to pick
i'd rather spend forever content with where i ended up
and not stuck in lament
wishing for a retry every waking moment of death
Track Name: Space and Interaction
i never thought that i'd be here again
wounds barely healed and scars still forming
it's undeniable
that i lost my way when the door cracked open

i can't help but see the similarities
prompting an ocean of doubt to rise up inside of me
and i am petrified, but something is pushing me ahead

into the current
soothing and fluid enough for me to stay composed
the rising levels
rhythmic and stable, soft and comforting enough
and as i go under i realize that all i want now, is to sink


somehow i knew that we'd be, in the end
the things that are said when open hearts connect
it's indescribable
and invaluable to the furthest extent

i can't keep this crashing wave from furthering
the momentum's too great
it's almost overtaking you and me
i know it's worrisome, but something worthwhile lies up ahead

far in the distance
a unique existence, only the lucky get to perceive
we're well on our way
and safely i'll say that that is exactly where i want to be
it'll be fine, if we take our time
and slowly drift into the sea


the walls that i desperately tried to reinforce
are starting to crack and crumble
much like they did the time before
i'm truly terrified
because i've never felt this vulnerable

i'm starting to panic
but quickly i realize that there is simply no need
because it's evident now that it's you all around me
it's you that helps me breathe
i'm content with this end
i'm surrendering


i concede
i give in
white flag
waving
Track Name: Beauty is in the Eyes of the Imperfect
oh, how'd i get so obsessed with flaw?
idolizing and idealizing it all
am i better or worse?


it's taken some time to adjust
and a great deal of work to combat the mistrust in my eyes


on again, off again
riddled with the regret from another time
climbing out ever so slowly


i've become immersed in all the missed brush strokes
the cracks and all of the wrinkles
the scars from tantrums that we've thrown

in time, perhaps we'll realize that it's simple
we're better as broken people
we'll stop holding onto hope for flawless

because in my eyes, in this life the only Hell really worth avoiding is perfection


i feel the most alive when it's all falling apart
Track Name: Pegasus
i've dreamt too often
of traveling through time
with knowledge i have now
in hopes of living a better life

love and success
of which i've yet to touch
streamlined to the forefront
with no miststeps to judge


it's hard
to accept
that even though i can't reverse
if i move forward, take the right steps

i will be happy eventually
when i get over it, get on with it
let time run its course properly
no wish to edit it, let go of it


i can regret
but i fail to see the help in that
i'm better off forcing myself to let it go